Tainted Saints » The Onion http://www.taintedsaints.com Where Saints are tainted, and Truth is sainted. Sat, 16 Jan 2010 00:44:11 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 en hourly 1 The Onion: U.S. Inspires World With Attempt At Democratic Election http://www.taintedsaints.com/2009/11/03/the-onion-u-s-inspires-world-with-attempt-at-democratic-election/ http://www.taintedsaints.com/2009/11/03/the-onion-u-s-inspires-world-with-attempt-at-democratic-election/#comments Tue, 03 Nov 2009 20:36:07 +0000 Kat http://www.taintedsaints.com/?p=876 NEW YORK—Observers from around the world report that they were inspired and moved by America’s most recent attempt to hold a public election in accordance with the standards of a democratic republic.

 ”After all of the recriminations, infighting, and general madness before the election, the people of this fractured nation still found the courage to show up at the polls,” said Anas Salman, an Afghan U.N. official who was in New York during the American electoral experiment. “More than half of America’s citizens—a large portion of them women—made a valiant attempt to choose their own leader, even though there was no guarantee their votes would be counted. It was truly inspirational.” [more...]

]]> http://www.taintedsaints.com/2009/11/03/the-onion-u-s-inspires-world-with-attempt-at-democratic-election/feed/ 0 The Onion: Nation’s Morons March On Washington State http://www.taintedsaints.com/2009/10/21/the-onion-nations-morons-march-on-washington-state/ http://www.taintedsaints.com/2009/10/21/the-onion-nations-morons-march-on-washington-state/#comments Wed, 21 Oct 2009 22:10:14 +0000 Kat http://www.taintedsaints.com/?p=693 OLYMPIA, WA—With random cries of “Enough is enough,” “Do something now,” and “Huh?” thousands of the nation’s biggest morons descended on Washington State this week, some 3,000 miles from their intended destination of the nation’s capital.

The march, which had no discernable goal or message, and no official organizers, began at approximately 8:45 a.m. in front of what the morons called the National Mall, but was actually the courtyard outside the Olympia Public Library…

]]> http://www.taintedsaints.com/2009/10/21/the-onion-nations-morons-march-on-washington-state/feed/ 0 The Onion: If God Had Wanted Me To Be Accepting Of Gays, He Would Have Given Me The Warmth And Compassion To Do So http://www.taintedsaints.com/2009/10/14/the-onion-if-god-had-wanted-me-to-be-accepting-of-gays-he-would-have-given-me-the-warmth-and-compassion-to-do-so/ http://www.taintedsaints.com/2009/10/14/the-onion-if-god-had-wanted-me-to-be-accepting-of-gays-he-would-have-given-me-the-warmth-and-compassion-to-do-so/#comments Wed, 14 Oct 2009 19:31:13 +0000 Kat http://www.taintedsaints.com/?p=507 From The Onion’s Op-Ed page…

]]> http://www.taintedsaints.com/2009/10/14/the-onion-if-god-had-wanted-me-to-be-accepting-of-gays-he-would-have-given-me-the-warmth-and-compassion-to-do-so/feed/ 0 The Onion: Shell Executives Accuse Oil-Covered Otter Of Gross Exaggeration http://www.taintedsaints.com/2009/10/12/the-onion-shell-executives-accuse-oil-covered-otter-of-gross-exaggeration/ http://www.taintedsaints.com/2009/10/12/the-onion-shell-executives-accuse-oil-covered-otter-of-gross-exaggeration/#comments Mon, 12 Oct 2009 20:00:25 +0000 Kat http://www.taintedsaints.com/?p=427 “Executives from the Shell Oil Company blasted a floundering, oil-covered sea otter Monday, accusing the small aquatic mammal of grossly exaggerating the effects of last week’s hazardous petroleum spill.”

]]> http://www.taintedsaints.com/2009/10/12/the-onion-shell-executives-accuse-oil-covered-otter-of-gross-exaggeration/feed/ 0 The Onion: Obama Health Care Plan Would Give Seniors the Right To Choose How They Are Killed http://www.taintedsaints.com/2009/10/07/the-onion-obama-health-care-plan-would-give-seniors-the-right-to-choose-how-they-are-killed/ http://www.taintedsaints.com/2009/10/07/the-onion-obama-health-care-plan-would-give-seniors-the-right-to-choose-how-they-are-killed/#comments Wed, 07 Oct 2009 21:06:13 +0000 Kat http://www.taintedsaints.com/?p=315 Just a little levity, folks…

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